A few years ago, I received an ET “furby” from my sister for Christmas. Basically, it was this giant talking ET doll thing that would gradually learn to say things and ‘get smarter’ as you owned and interacted with it.I immediately neglected it, because it was totally creepy. It would say things like “Be Good!” and “ET Loves You!” in the weird creepy ET voice when you touched his head or freaky light up finger. Nobody needs this!
Flash forward a few months later and my girlfriend-at-the-time and myself break up. In haste, I ended up moving out of our shared apartment — but leaving ET behind because I wasn’t aware of where he was, and it’s not exactly as if he was on my checklist of things I needed to go back and get. One day, I am told, after a few months had passed by, my ex-girlfriend is sitting on the couch and hears a ghastly old man whispering:
“Beautiful Friend! Friend! Beautiful Friend!! Eeeeeee!”
and nearly had a stroke. E.T. had been located.
And really, the only reason that I had received ET in the first place was because when I was little, I was horribly, horribly afraid of E.T. and all things related. He was like real Jay Barnes Kryptonite.My sister used this principle to the fullest advantage. She would be about to go to the store or some other place and I’d bother my mother to make her bring me along. It was at this point that my sister would take me aside and let me in on a secret:
“You don’t want to go to the store!”“Why not?”“Because ET is at the store!”“Mom! I don’t want to go to the store! Nevermind about the store! No need to go to the store, anymore. No store.”So, more or less, my sister continues to buy me ET merchandise simply to reactivate previous childhood trauma for comedy purposes. It’s a fun little game that we play. I just got an ET postcard from her last week, in fact.
I guess the most disturbing thing about the whole ordeal was the fact that my family really wanted me to get over my fear, and as a result, would buy me all kinds of crapass ET merchandise. I had ET sheets, a plush ET doll. I even had ET soap. ET this and ET that. ET ET ET. It was like living a nightmare — every single day of my life.Thanks guys!
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on Monday, January 10th, 2005 at 9:47 pm and is filed under Content.
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