Jay Barnes

Hypothesis:

By collecting the arbitrary numbers off of the back of hipster shirts at a nearby indie-rock festival, experimenter will be able to determine the most INDIE NUMBER IN EXISTENCE.

Data Collection:

Scientist walks around indie show writing down numbers on the backs of hipster shirts.

Observations:

• If the guy wearing the yellow shirt with the brown ten on it meets the guy wearing the brown shirt with the yellow ten on it, it may invalidate existence as we know it. This must be avoided at all costs.
• It appears that indie hipster love for sub-20 numbers may be directly proportional to their disdain for the deadly combination of soap, water, and hair.
• Denim is clearly ‘back’.
• For a shirt to fit you, it should optimally fit you horizontally AS WELL AS vertically. But hey, who’s counting? Haha, oh right.

Methodology:

We find the mean.What, you’re going to find the mode or the median? What are you, stupid? That would just be stupid. You’re stupid.

S = Sum of Shirt Numbers
J = Number of Jerks
I = Indie
S / J = I

Data Collected:

(Shirt Color / Shirt Number)Blue 3, Green 16, Red 15, Yellow 10 (Brown numbers), Brown 10 (Yellow numbers), Green 2, Black 19, Black 50, Yellow 3

Conclusion / Totals:

3 + 16 + 15 + 10 + 10 + 2 + 19 + 50 + 3 = 128 / 9 = 14.2222222222222

The most indie number in existence is therefore 14.2222222222222.

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